Beginning in 2022 as a Substack of writing about GodS, epilepsy, magick and time, evolving between 2023-2025 into a collaboration with Bristol Cathedral to build bridges between the Church of England and the “Spiritual But Not Religious”, given home in the historic Lord Mayor’s Chapel in central Bristol.
God Is Alive
liberating spiritual community
Working with Bristol Cathedral to create dialogue, reciprocal regard and mutual understanding between the Church and the Witchcraft, the Establishment and the Grassroots, the Old Paradigm and the New Paradigm was, as you can imagine, extremely difficult, full of prejudice on both sides, and ultimately deeply damaging to any hope of rooting my vocation for ministry within the Church.
If that’s not what you were hoping to read, then I assure you, it’s not what I was hoping I’d ever write. Or maybe you’re thinking, “well that’s obvious, you should have seen that coming!” If you’re on that side, then you can know: I have no regrets at all about trying my absolute best to heal the rift between the Church and the Witchcraft, to heal the rift between spirit and body, between holy and human, between man and woman, church and justice, one diocese at a time. It was a worthy dream, I’m glad I met it with dedication, determination and brazen courage. I needed it!
The time when Jesus spoke to me the most throughout the whole project was when I decided that I’d had enough of being underpaid and treated with suspicion by the lay staff and volunteers at the Cathedral. I knew in my heart that it was outside of basic self-respect to stay in the role. In those sad days of reckoning, Christ Jesus and Christ Magdalene were with me, telling me that the frontier of love, faith and hope was somewhere else, not in the Lord Mayor’s Chapel, not with the Cathedral. They prayed over me to let this dream go, before it broke me.
I chose to close God Is Alive down after it had been open for six months in the Lord Mayor’s Chapel. Despite over a year of preparation and planning, as well as staking my whole reputation as a community organiser, priestess, artist and musician on the promise of the project, there was no way to continue with my integrity in tact, or to guarantee that God Is Alive collaborators would be treated with respect. That decision was one of the hardest ones I’ve ever taken in my professional life; it was the right thing to do.
My favourite things about God Is Alive were: having a cup of tea in the LMC with people who had come in to talk to me about their love of GodS, their relief that someone in a church building was taking their belief seriously and not trying to change it; collaborating with Bristol Love Jam; standing up to the Cathedral stewards who tried to chastise a company of professional dancers for dancing on the pews; cocking a snook at every piece of pompous colonial statuary in the place; wailing to the goddess with my lyre and drum in the oldest part of the building, feeling the old ghosts of the building quake with fury; the support of The Very Revd Dean Dr Mandy Ford; the wonder, hope and sense of possibility that the project offered to people on both sides of the bridge.
Below are some of the promotional images designed by me for events that took place and some that I had to cancel, some bits from socials, and a great photo by Jo Bushell of me opening the doors to the Lord Mayor’s Chapel for the first time, after having been entrusted with a key.
Final Substack, written at the close of the project, February 2025.
My season as Lay Pioneer of Bristol Cathedral, a season seeded in late 2021, sprouted in the undergrowth of slow ecclesiastical time throughout 2022 and 2023 and flowering in spurts from July 2024 to February 2025, has done whatever it was blessed to do. May the ecosystem of our ontological turning be enriched by these composting ambitions.
My thanks:
To The Very Revd Dr Mandy Ford, Dean of Bristol — thank you for making space for the visionary fires of my eclectic, wild and raucous ministry within your well ordered temple.
To the Canon Missioner who built this bridge with me — my friend first, my colleague second, my boss only when you needed to be; thank you for being the priest that my people needed, on the edge, devoted to your God, never needing to be followed and therefore a humble shepherd to many.
To the Visitor Experience Assistants - a breath of fresh air in an institution that can be so stuffy. Thank you for your open smiles, friendly faces and genuine curiosity.
To all of the staff and volunteers of Bristol Cathedral - thank you for risking the comfort of your traditions in order to make space for the vast love that we are all called to by our big guy JC.
To the LoveJam Bristol family - reverent rebels, lovers of the wild divine, booty shakers, divine feminine wailers, thank you for bringing your vibes, your trust and your community into bubbling cauldron.
To all the programmed workshop holders, those who walked the programming journey with me, and those who participated in the workshops - thank you for saying “yes” to the possibility of a truce between the institution of the Church and all that is vastly more in Spirit, and for laying your audacious hilarity, your body yearnings and your ancient medicines onto this bridge between worlds, a bridge that we built together, a bridge that stands.
Thank you to my beloved fiance, Matthew - thank you for holding me throughout this hardest and wildest gig.
My most special thanks goes to all of you who came to the chapel for a cup of tea to share your life’s story of GodS with me. Listening to your personal experiences of the sacred, following the twists and turns of your journeys with divinity, witnessing the reciprocally liberating wrestling matches that each of you have been on with spirit, is one of the most privileged and humbling positions I have be blessed to hold in my whole life. Thank you for gifting me the opportunity to listen to your love of GodS; a gift beyond words.
Thank you.
*
And so too, this Substack folds in on itself and into the fabric of all that has been.
I gave up social media for Lent, and found heaven in the stillness.
I wish you well here, and will at times visit and see what you’re up to.
And I am done with the socio-textual power-vortex for now.
From today, this list will become part of my mailing list -
you can find me there, as the Spirit moves.
God Is Alive.
Viva.
